


Little Britain

by ExplodedPen



Series: Little Britain [1]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-13
Updated: 2005-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplodedPen/pseuds/ExplodedPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm awakes after an accident and finds it's harder than it looks remembering where he belongs.</p><p>Not quite alternate universe, not quite canon universe. A little of both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathlessly Waking

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a brain melter. But many thanks go to The Libran Iniquity for all her help :)

**_Malcolm struggled to keep his eyes open, feeling his strength drain away as he attempted to look at the others._ **

**_"You'll be fine," someone was telling him. "You'll be fine, just hang in there."_ **

**_He coughed weakly, feeling another shooting pain run across his chest._ **

**_Not long now..._ **

**_"Malcolm! Malcolm!"_ **

**_He could hear voices crying out to him, but he forgot it all as he faded away into the blissful darkness..._ **

 

Head pounding Malcolm stirred slightly; he could hear the familiar beeps of the machines in sickbay and was struck with the sudden realisation that he'd ended up in Phlox's care yet again.

"Malcolm?"

He didn't recognise the voice and his eyes immediately snapped open. A woman was sat beside him; she had short spiky blonde hair and dark brown eyes that were filled with deep concern.

Looking around he didn't even recognise his surroundings, he was certainly in a sickbay or medical facility of some sorts but it definitely wasn't the Enterprise sickbay, the absence of Phlox and his animals, of anyone in a Starfleet uniform gave that away straight away.

"Malcolm, honey, do you remember what happened?" the woman asked concerned.

He paused a moment trying to collect his jumbled thoughts.

"You fell and hit your head," she supplied. "And scared the life out of me too I might add, the Doctor wants to keep you overnight."

Malcolm's mouth seemed to go on autopilot.

"What about the boys?" he asked anxiously.

"With Maddie," she told him.

There was a short period of silence before she added:

"I'm gonna go get a drink, you want one?"

Malcolm shook his head and winced feeling a throb of pain run through his head.

She exited the room leaving Malcolm with his confused thoughts.

_Let me think. What's going on? One minute I can barely breathe the next I wake up with just a head wound._

_Still, I need to concentrate, how did I know about the boys? Whose boys are they?_

_I obviously know that woman from somewhere._

_It's all gotta be in here somewhere. Emma._

_Emma?_

_That's her name. Emma._

_What are the boys called then?_

_Joseph. Edward. Samuel. No. Hang on. I don't call them that. They're Joe, Eddie and Sam._

_I think._

_Hang on! They're my boys!_

_How is this possible? Where's the Enterprise? What am I doing here? Why do I suddenly have a family? Three kids and a wife don't appear overnight!_

 

His thoughts were interrupted by the return of Emma. She flopped back down in the chair beside him, sipping at her drink.

"You're my wife," he said suddenly.

"And you're my husband," she said grinning.

He smiled nervously.

"And we have three boys?"

"Did that head injury scramble your brain cells?" she asked frowning.

"Just so I know I'm not going insane, I need you to tell me about me," he pressed.

She gave him a strange look. "Malcolm I..."

"Emma please."

"Fine." She shook her head sighing. "Your name is Malcolm Reed you're a Commander in the Navy, your married to me Emma and we have three boys, Joe, Eddie and Sam. You adore pineapple and you're currently on shore leave...Malcolm what's wrong?"

_How to tell her this without sounding insane...?_

"Just making sure I'm still in one piece," he joked weakly.

Emma didn't look convinced but nodded slightly.

Malcolm slowly closed his eyes watching as his 'wife' faded from view.

**_Darkness, pure darkness, impenetrable darkness that surrounded him. He couldn't move, couldn't open his eyes to the light._ **

**_"Why isn't he waking up? It's been two days."_ **

**_"Captain, I'm afraid he's dropped into a coma."_ **

**_Phlox's voice was so far away coming across as more of a whisper other than anything else._ **

**_"A coma?"_ **

**_"His injuries were severe; in all honesty I'm surprised he made it back here in time."_ **

**_"Is there nothing you can do?"_ **

**_"I've tended his injuries best I can, the rest now I'm afraid is up to him."_ **

**_'I'm still here!" Malcolm wanted to scream. "I'm still here! Help me!"_ **

**_The voices drifted out again and after what seemed like an eternity another voice floated in._ **

**_"Mal, ya gotta try 'n' wake up buddy, we need ya, and ya gotta wake up."_ **

**_Malcolm wished with all his heart he could open his eyes, the cold, harsh darkness that surrounded him pressed against him blocking out any noise._ **

 

Malcolm woke with a jolt.

The room was dark. Emma had fallen asleep. The darkness and the voices of his crewmates had vanished.


	2. My Family

The morning had gone quickly, the Doctor had reluctantly let him leave and he was now sat by Emma on the long journey home-which gave him plenty of time to collect his thoughts.

_'This can't be some illusion, I know these people. I know what's happening and I remember everything-well as long as I concentrate for a moment._

_But if this is real what about Enterprise?_

_I can't deny I heard their voices last night, I heard them talking to me, saying I was in a coma or something._

_But what if I was dreaming? The more I see here the more I think it's more likely._

_I can't give up on them yet, there's got to be a reason for this-there has to be._

_Aliens took me and are creating this world perhaps? No, because I remember this stuff-I remember these people. Besides I remember not being able to breath the others would've brought me to Phlox, they wouldn't have left me would they?'_

"We need to stop off at Maddie's first," said Emma breaking his concentration. "I expect the kids are climbing the walls by now."

"I thought they liked staying with Maddie," said Malcolm, once again surprising himself with the things he knew.

"They do," Emma answered. She looked at him for a moment and smiled. "But they like seeing their daddy more."

Malcolm sighed.

"I know, I'm not around much," He began.

"I understand Malcolm," She cut in swiftly. "Don't worry about it."

Malcolm could find nothing in response to this. _Great, I've turned into my father. Number one absentee father._

"We're here!" said Emma with false brightness in her voice, as she pulled into Maddie's driveway.

Malcolm rang the doorbell and waited. The door was thrown open.

"DADDY!"

Something small and mousey haired attached himself to Malcolm.

For a second he went dizzy grabbing hold of the door frame for support.

"Joe honey, go tell Auntie Maddie we're here," said Emma quickly.

Joe detached himself from his father, running back through the door yelling "AUNTIE MADDIE!"

"Malcolm are you alright?" Emma asked her voice low and worried.

"I'm fine," Malcolm replied standing up straight again.

"Maybe you should've stayed at the Hospital a bit longer," said Emma concerned. "I knew I shouldn't have let you talk your way out of there!"

"Emma I'm fine," Malcolm assured her.

She gave him a searching look but eventually let it go.

They stepped inside just as Madeline Reed came out the kitchen, closely tailed by Joe.

"Malcolm! Great to see you again!" she hugged her older brother.

"Hey Maddie, I hope the boys weren't too much bother," he said smiling.

"Bother? Between the explosions and generally running riot they were little angels," said Maddie teasingly. "Eddie's in the back garden and Sam's asleep upstairs-or at least he was I was just about to go check on him."

"I'll go get Sam then," said Malcolm quickly. "I'll meet you two in the garden."

"We've been back five minutes and he's already trying to escape," Emma joked.

Malcolm smiled and started climbing the stairs. He stopped half way up waiting for them to leave the hallway. Finally their voices drifted away.

_Maddie's house is just how I remember it..._

He wandered slowly into the guest bedroom making straight for the blue travel cot in the corner. He leant slightly on the corner staring down at the little boy inside.

_He's the only one that looks like me, Joe and Eddie both resemble Emma more._

Sam stared up at him for a moment as if trying to decide who he was then raised his arms.

"Hello," said Malcolm softly, picking him up. "You're getting big aren't you?"

Sam merely babbled something in response and gave Malcolm a grin.

_This is so surreal._

Malcolm parked himself down on the floor, Sam still in his arms.

_I'm holding my son, I'm holding him. This has to be real; I can even feel his little heart beating._

_But if this is real, where does that leave Enterprise?_

"Malcolm! Are you bringing him down or what?"

Malcolm snapped out of his thoughts, realising he was wanted downstairs.

_Might as well play along till I can figure this out._

_It's not just playing along is it though? You're actually curious to see what you've done with this life. You already love these children._

_This isn't real...is it?_

_Enterprise will find me. They will. They wouldn't leave me. Till then I'll just go along with this._


	3. A Picture Says A Thousand Words

Malcolm watched as the scenery whipped past the window.

_Now here's a weird moment for you. I'm going home._

_Not to Enterprise but a home I apparently brought with my 'wife'. Amazing. Even more amazing is the fact my father helped me buy it._

_My father hasn't given me anything since I was 18. Do I have a good relationship with my father? I don't doubt I do here, a job in the Navy, three sons; I've got everything my father always pushed me to have._

_Everything seems to perfect._

_Nothing can be this perfect it's just not right. Now I know this isn't real._

_Or at least I'm 50 percent sure._

He looked up expectantly as they pulled into a driveway, he grinned. The name of the house was 'Little Britain'.

"In all the years we've been here you smile everytime you see that," Emma commented smiling.

The doors were flung open and Joe and Eddie scrambled out leaving Sam alone in the back.

"I'll get him," Malcolm offered.

Emma nodded and unlocked the door.

When Sam saw Malcolm he held out his arms and waited to be picked up patiently.

Malcolm paused a moment to look at the baby in his arms. Sam had scrunched his face up.

"Emma," he called, quickly moving into the house. "Here you go." He gave her a winning smile and passed Sam to her.

"It wouldn't kill you to change his nappy you know!" Emma called after him.

"Yes but you're so good at it," he replied.

_The kid might be cute but there's no way I'm doing waste disposal._

"Dad!" Joe called. "Come play! We need you to be keeper."

"Aren't you two tired yet?" Malcolm called back. "We haven't even been back five minutes and you two already want to play?

"Yes!" came the unanimous response.

Malcolm walked through the house letting his feet take him where he needed to go and not giving himself a chance to look at anything.

He found himself in the back garden. Joe and Eddie seized hold of his arms and dragged him towards the small goal net at the bottom of the garden.

"Boys, I'm tired," he tried, laughing.

"Aww c'mon Dad!"

The boys grabbed a filthy football that looked as though its original colour was white but it was hard to tell.

_Who taught them sports?_

_They go to school idiot._

_Still why am I playing?_

_Mind you, doesn't look like I actually have to do much except stand here while they tackle each other._

_I never thought I'd be doing this._

The ball came hurtling towards him, Malcolm stretched out a hand to grab it but it sailed past his fingers and into the waiting net.

_I never did like being in goal._

0000

"They're all settled down now," said Emma coming back into the room. "I'm gonna go take a bath."

Malcolm nodded in acknowledgement and waited till she was gone.

He got up and took a long look round the room he was in. Opening a cupboard in the corner he found a thick photo album.

_This will help...or at least I think it will._

At the start of the album was a wedding photo. He was holding onto Emma and they were both looking into each others eyes and laughing. However although she had on the traditional white wedding dress he was wearing Navy dress uniform.

_Not exactly what I would choose to wear on my wedding day._

Turning the page he came across photo's of a baby.

_Got to be Joe, he's the older one isn't he?_

_Cute little thing._

It was hard for him looking through the album. It showed him pictures of what his life was like here, he looked so happy in the photos.

_But then, everyone always looks happy in photos._

A photo fell out the album and onto his lap as he lifted the album in preparation to put it back in the cupboard. It was a much older photo than the others; it was of him wearing the navy dress uniform again but at a much younger age. He was staring out at the camera completely expressionless with his father at his side.

_You can put the man in water but you can't take the aquaphobia out the man. Good to know some things don't change._

He went out the room and into a small study next door. He accessed the library and did a search for any documents concerning the Enterprise.

A short list of headlines appeared.

**The Space Flight Program**

**The crew of the Enterprise**

**A tribute to the Enterprise**

_Wow, what a lot of information. I could've sworn there was more than this originally._

He accessed the final document on the list and scanned it quickly.

**The first mission into Space led by Captain Jonathan Archer came to a tragic end yesterday when the ship was destroyed. Starfleet as of yet has given no reason for this disaster, whether it was technical fault or the result of an attack but they have confirmed there were no surviviors...**

He read on with morbid fascination.

_This is wrong, this is all wrong. They aren't dead, they can't be dead. We didn't go like this; we carried on with our mission! We weren't destroyed, we weren't destroyed!_

He shut it down quickly and left the room.

Malcolm found himself in the kitchen and quickly poured himself a glass of water, drinking it all in one go.

_This isn't where I belong, this isn't real, it can't be real._

He set down his glass and slowly made his way up the stairs and went into what he presumed was his bedroom, he sat on the end of the bed and stared at the sky blue walls for a long, long time.


	4. Descent Into Darkness

**_"How is he Doctor?"_ **

**_"He's developed an infection, I'm doing my best but at the moment it's resisting all medication I give him."_ **

**_For a long while there was nothing and he remained in darkness, praying and hoping that he would wake up and see them. That he would wake up and know what was going on. That he would wake up and not be alone anymore._ **

**_"Hey Mal, it's me."_ **

**_At least now he wasn't alone, he reasoned, at least now there's something else besides the darkness._ **

**_"Mal, the Doc says you aren't doin' so good. You've got to fight this Mal. You gotta wake up…"_ **

**_But like a badly tuned radio the voice faded out leaving the sound of static and he could no longer understand the words. The darkness pressed against him and he let out a scream that no one heard._ **

Malcolm woke with a jolt fighting the seemingly thousands of sheets covering him. Someone was beside him, trying to calm him with soothing words, but he didn't hear them and instead stared round wildly in complete panic.

Finally free of his covers he allowed himself to calm, his breathing still coming in short shaky gasps as he tried to comprehend what was happening.

"Malcolm? Malcolm look at me."

He turned obediently and found himself looking into the dark brown eyes of his 'wife'.

"Emma?"

Emma smiled and gently smoothed back his hair.

"You were having a nightmare," she said softly. "Just breathe, you're safe now."

_Safe? How can I be safe? When I close my eyes I'm trapped in darkness and when I wake it's in another place, same time, wrong people, wrong career, wrong friends, and wrong family!_

_How the hell is that safe?_

_She has no idea-I have no idea! I have no idea what's happening! Why am I here? Why can't I wake up from the darkness?_

_Just breathe Malcolm, you sound like a mad man._

_Mad man? Maybe I am mad, maybe I've gone insane and I'm just torturing myself with fanciful ideas of home when actually my home is here._

_But if my home is here…..why does it feel so wrong? Enterprise is my home. They will find me, they wouldn't leave me…would they?_

"Malcolm," said Emma rubbing his back soothingly.

_When did she start doing that?_

"Malcolm," she tried again. "Are you ok?"

_Ok? Am I ok? No I'm not bloody ok! I'm driving myself insane!_

He nodded and lightly touched her arm. She felt solid and warm beneath his touch.

"Am I awake?" he whispered, barely audible.

She took him in her arms and hugged him.

"It was a bad one wasn't it," she sighed. "But you're safe, everything's fine, it was just a nightmare."

"Just a nightmare," he agreed pulling away from her.

"Want to tell me about it?"

He blinked stupidly and merely stared at her for a few seconds.

_You wouldn't understand._

"I don't remember it," he lied. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, I was just coming in to wake you," she told him. "Its morning sweetheart, time to get up."

Malcolm nodded and stood up, for a brief moment wondering if his legs would work.

"I'm getting a shower," he said and walked out leaving her sat on the bed.

_Where am I going?_

He blindly made his way to the bathroom but it was as though someone else was pushing him in the right direction.

As the hot water pounded his shoulders he could hear the sound of the others moving about and talking. The remnants of the darkness trickled away and by the time he stepped out again he felt more in control. Ready to cope with the situation till the others came for him.

_Or until I get myself out._

"Malcolm, your parents called," said Emma as he entered the kitchen. "They're coming over later on."

"Grandpa's coming?" Joe asked brightly, flooding his cereal with milk.

Emma nodded and Malcolm forced a smile onto his face. He grabbed the nearest mug and poured himself a coffee.

_Emma's usually the coffee nut, me and the boys prefer tea in true British fashion._

_Bloody hell where did that come from?_

The coffee was black, hot and bitter. It brought the morning into sharp focus.

"Did they mention a time?" Malcolm asked, grimacing at the coffee's bitter taste.

"About lunch time," Emma replied. "They didn't specify a time."

_Didn't specify a time? That's unusual. My father is anal about time-keeping. She must have talked to mum._

0000

Clock watching had never been his favourite occupation. The endless ticking sound that was being created in his head (the clock was digital) was driving him to the point of insanity.

In an odd way it was making him sleepy too, the boys were upstairs, Emma was vacuuming and the living room was strangely quiet. He was complete alone just staring at the clock as if it could somehow tell him when his parents were coming.

He stood up to shake of his sleepy feeling and paced the room.

_What's wrong with you?_

_Strange situation, uncertain territory, unfamiliar yet familiar people need I go on?_

_I need to be more alert, can't work out what's happening if I'm asleep._

_**"He's not breathing!"** _

He didn't have chance to contemplate where the voice came from before he fell back onto the sofa.

**_The darkness returned, leaving him with a strange feeling of suspense. He once more waited for something to happen. Something to touch him or speak to him, the voices of his crewmates trying to wake him but there was nothing. No sound, save the raspy wheeze of breathing echoing eerily._ **

**_"Hello?" The word caught in his throat and no sound was made. The darkness scared him; there was no one there this time, no one speaking to him trying to wake him._ **

**_He was alone._ **

**_"Help me…"_ **


	5. The Odds of Insanity

**_Malcolm hovered uncertainly, torn in two. He wanted to go somewhere but he felt unable to leave wherever he was now._ **

**_There was a sudden jolt that ran through him and he started falling. Till finally…_ **

Something was poking him.

"Wake up," said a small voice impatiently. It seemed so far away.

**_"He's back in normal rhythm."_ **

"Wha'?" Malcolm grunted trying to open his eyes.

He was poked again and he could feel the pressure of someone climbing into his lap.

"Daaaddy!" The voice was more insistent and it had a sing-song quality to it that cut through his aching head like a knife.

His eyes were prised open by small fingers and the tousled head of his son appeared in view.

"Daddy, Grandpa and Grandma are here," said Eddie impatiently.

**_"What happened?"_ **

What the hell? 

"Did you say something?" Malcolm asked groggily.

_Ow, why do I feel like I've come off a three day bender?_

Eddie looked at him strangely.

"Don't be silly I didn't say anything," he said leaping from Malcolm's lap. "Grandpa and Grandma are here."

**_"Commander if you could just pass me that hypospray…"_**

Malcolm leapt up from the sofa as if it had burned him, staring wildly round him.

_Ok, moving not good. Bad move._

_Is there someone here? Can Eddie hear that?_

_Was that….Phlox?_

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Eddie asked. "Come on."

He grabbed Malcolm's hand and dragged him into the hallway.

"Grandpa! Grandma!" He squealed joyfully and raced off, Malcolm left leaning against the doorframe.

The scene danced hypnotically before his eyes, he shook his head in a effort to clear it but his vision remained stubbornly blurry.

_Oh this can't be good._

_Is someone talking to me?_

"Malcolm," said the voice more insistently.

Malcolm blinked and he stared at the speaker. Emma swam into focus looking mildly concerned.

"Sorry, I was a million miles away," he said shrugging.

"Malcolm! Emma!"

Mary Reed stepped into his line of vision and beamed. She came forward and out of habit he bent down and kissed her cheek.

Emma repeated his gesture just in time for Stuart to darken the doorway.

_I can't handle this right now…what the hell?_

_Woah. Is he holding the kids? Blimey, physical contact!_

_Is he…smiling? That's just wrong. I thought his facial muscles couldn't pull that look off._

"Hello son," Stuart said his voice gruff, but a wide grin on his face. He shifted his hold on Eddie and shook Malcolm's hand. "How's the head? Emma said you'd been to see the quack."

"I'm fine," said Malcolm dazedly.

"Come in, come in!" said Emma propelling them into the kitchen. "You want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?"

"I'll have coffee, Mary will have tea," said Stuart lowering Eddie to the ground.

Malcolm sank into the nearest chair suddenly wondering if his legs would support him anymore.

"Malcolm dear are you sure you're alright?" Mary asked anxiously. "You do look a bit peaky."

"Grandpa, I want to show you something," Joe interrupted, pulling on Stuart's sleeve.

Stuart laughed and Malcolm shuddered involuntarily.

"Give me chance to sit down!" he said jovially. "Show me later Joe."

"Joe go play with your brother," said Emma from her perch beside the kettle.

Joe threw her an evil look before punching Eddie's arm.

"C'mon," he muttered before racing off.

**_"Do you know what happened? He was fine a minute ago…"_ **

"Did you hear that?" Malcolm asked before he could stop himself.

"Hear what dear?" Mary asked raising her gaze from the boys to her son.

"Never mind," he replied quickly.

_They didn't hear it. It's in my head. It's in my head! They could be lying, this could be some trick!_

_A trick? What are they trying to send me crazy? They don't need to try!_

_God, I'm so confused, this would so much easier to figure out if my head didn't feel like it was about to split in two!_

Emma set a steaming mug down in front of Malcolm and he downed it in one go.

The others stared at him in amazement.

"Didn't that burn you?" Emma asked shocked.

"No," said Malcolm slowly. "No, it didn't."

**_"Commander perhaps you should go get some rest…"_ **

Malcolm shoved his chair back from the table so fast that he nearly catapulted himself off the back of it.

"Excuse me a minute," He said quickly, all but running to the bathroom.

The contents of his meagre breakfast were deposited in the toilet and he sank back against the unusually warm tiles on the bathroom floor.

_What's wrong now?_

_I've just thrown up, it doesn't take a genius to figure out all is not right in the world of Malcolm._

_But nothing's right anyway, this is all wrong! For one thing my father seems to have had a complete personality transplant and I'm hearing voices of people who I know are real but I can't see…or at least I think they're real._

_Don't be stupid they are real and this isn't._

_This headache sure does feel real though, and so did Sam's heartbeat when I was holding him._

_God, I can't think. I need to find what's happening._

_**"Just hang in there Mal, the Doc reckons…"** _

Malcolm looked around him for a moment and inadvertently closed his eyes.

**_Malcolm sighed. The darkness was back but this time it felt like it was constantly surging towards him in waves, throwing him in all directions._ **

**_"Phlox, is he going to make it?"_ **

**_The voice was oddly comforting, and although it sounded like a badly tuned radio he found it soothing. It was the one constant he could seem to rely on in the dark, it was the only way he knew Enterprise was real for his 'family' never spoke to him here._ **

**_"Hello?" He called into the surging gloom. It was useless and he knew it but he needed to try. "I'm here! I'm right here! Please! I'm right here!"_ **

**_"I won't lie Captain, the odds aren't in his favour...there's a strong possibility he won't survive."_ **

**_"Your lying!" he yelled furiously. "I'm here! I'm right here! I'm fine! Help me! I'm here!"_ **

**_But the voices didn't reply._ **


	6. Reality Bites

Malcolm groaned and stared at the floor tiles. He hadn't felt this bad in a long time. Even when he was pinned to the hull by a mine and had the disgusting sensation of his own urine swishing round his feet he hadn't felt this bad.

_Bad does not cover how I feel. I should create a new word for how bad I feel._

_It is supposed to hurt just thinking? I mean I've had physical pain before but not this searing pain._

_It's kinda woolly. Woolly? Yeah woolly._

_Someone up there hates me._

_Someone down here is trying to open the door._

Malcolm blinked.

"Malcolm! Malcolm open the door sweetheart!"

_Argh! No shut up! Noise bad. Noise very, very bad!_

_Please, just leave me alone…_

"Malcolm answer me! C'mon love! Open the door!"

_I'll tell you to bugger off but that involves energy._

_Why don't I have any energy?_

_Oh, can't think. Thinking hurts. That BLOODY RACKET HURTS!_

_Is this what dying feels like?_

_Hmm, maybe not._

_Anyway, just because I'm stuck…in Happyville doesn't mean I'm dying._

_Besides, I have no intention of dying, it goes against my survival instincts._

Malcolm whimpered at the sudden noise of the door bursting open. There was the heavy dull thud of running feet and hands pulled at him.

"Get help!"

It took what seemed like an eternity for Malcolm to finally realise who was holding him. That could've also been due to the fact his eyes wouldn't stay open for more than a second.

"Emma?" he mumbled.

"It's ok Malcolm, it's gonna be ok," she said desperately.

Everything blurred alarmingly as more hands grabbed onto to him. He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

But the darkness didn't return. Sleep didn't take him and the agony only increased.

Malcolm felt very alone as the capable hands of the medics tended to him and his 'family' were pushed away.

_Help me, someone help me._

People were talking to him. He didn't reply, the effort to form coherent sentences was beyond him at this point. Tubes were inserted; hyposprays were pressed against his neck and faces swam in and out of view.

It seemed like a thousand years had passed by before he was settled in the cold, clinical, local hospital. He had closed his eyes a while ago but sleep didn't claim him. Hovering somewhere between insanity and exhaustion he forced himself to pay attention to his surroundings.

"What is it Doctor?"

"I can't say at this moment in time, we've sent a blood sample off for analysis but that's all I can tell you at this point in time."

"You don't know what it is? Help him!"

"We can't treat him till we know what's wrong with him; the blood test will tell us more Mrs Reed. In the meantime we'll keep him comfortable."

_Yeah, real comfortable_

"Malcolm?"

He heard footsteps move away and forced his eyes open. Two faces smiled down at him. One was Emma.

The other was Trip.

**_"Hey Mal, long time no see."_ **

"Hey Sweetheart," said Emma smiling gently. "You gave us quite a scare."

Malcolm blinked.

Trip turned away and said something to the wall behind him and Emma leant forward and brushed sweaty hair from Malcolm's forehead.

"Don't worry about the boys, your mum's watching them," said Emma. "Stuart came with us and frightened most of the hospitals staff half to death. I think he's currently demanding why no one is seeing to you."

**_"Malcolm, can you hear us? The Doc just asked you a question."_ **

"He's proud of you, you know," said Emma sighing.

**_"Stay with me Mal."_ **

Malcolm gave a small moan of confusion, his head felt like it was on the verge of splitting in half, he could barely move any part of him, Trip had suddenly appeared from nowhere and only he could see him.

**_"Aww, c'mon on Mal…..don't do that again…..PHLOX!"_ **

Trip's worried face suddenly disappeared from view and Emma clutched at Malcolm's arm.

"Nononononono!" Emma cried. "Don't die on me Malcolm! I need you! The boys need you!"

Malcolm gave her a look of confusion before a steady beep sliced through his consciousness.

_Oh God that's me._

In an instant he was swept back into the darkness.

**_Malcolm experienced a familiar sense of security. The darkness was a constant; it was the one thing he could rely on that had never really changed much during his confusion._ **

**_A muffled sound reached his ears._ **

**_He strained to hear it but it always remained slightly out of his reach. However one sound cut through loud and clear. A steady tone, and something that sent chills through him._ **

**_"Time of death 1630 hours."_ **

"Time of death 4:30pm."

**_A burst of harsh light penetrated his senses. He'd heard of people seeing a light when they had 'died' before, but the light they'd described was warm and welcoming. This light was harsh, direct and pierced his every thought. It dragged him towards it, its pull irresistible to him._ **

**_And for the first time in nearly five years…_ **

Malcolm Reed opened his eyes.


	7. Malcolm's Angel

Iona had never felt like the others. She had never wanted this, never wanted to be part of it.

But somehow, she was. Somehow, between a rebellious childhood and adolescence she had become all she despised. She had become one of them.

But she couldn't help it. Like a moth to a flame she found herself irresistibly drawn to him. And in turn, drawn to the programme.

The programme in itself was mystery. Outside their own departments no one knew what went on. Iona was in charge of running scenarios. Many scenarios that could continue for entire lifetimes, some that lasted mere minutes, each one uniquely valuable.

The scenarios were run on all species; it was a way of viewing a way of life, from one person. However, sometimes it was a way of being kind. People with no hope of life were plugged into the scenario to live out the remainder of their days; people with no hope could live out a lifetime in minutes.

And no one had ever woken up.

Until now.

Five years ago, a human male was brought into Iona's office. It was hard to tell of his appearance, he was wrapped in some many bandages she couldn't see much.

"We found him," Iyen said. "He had a companion but he died before we could reach him, the medics have patched this one up."

Iona wanted to ask more, but she knew she was not privy to such information. There was no point in asking why the male had been brought to her that was obvious.

He was to be integrated into a scenario.

"Get him to the chair," she said briskly.

The male was dragged to the chair and Iona began attaching several wires to him.

"I assume you're taking him to the med-bay after this?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even. The male was obviously clinging to life by a thread and it nearly broke her heart to see him like this. "I will need time to set up the parameters of his scenario after all."

"Of course we are," said Iyen frowning. "Do not fret, he will be made comfortable."

"Is it serious?" Iona asked her heart sinking as she made the final adjustments. "Is there no way we can find his people? Or is it too late for him?"

"It is too late," said Iyen sadly. "The council have ruled that he live out the rest of his days in a mercy scenario."

"And who has been designated to be his angel?" she asked her finger poised over the final switch. "Illyria? I hear she is waiting for a new patient to watch over."

Angels were the slang term for scenario operators due to the way in which they watched over there patient and looked after them.

"No, Illyria has been put in charge of your patients," said Iyen. "You are to watch over this male, the council feels he needs your…caring touch."

Iona flicked the switch and turned the attention to her work. This was the part she hated the most, for the machine while complex in design had just one purpose. To download all of that person's memories and show the most recent. It took only minutes and Iona motioned to the others to take the male away for medical treatment.

Finally left alone to her own devices she sat down at her desk and began shifting through reams of data. The scenario began to take shape.

It hadn't taken long to create the scenario but Iona hated every minute of it. She hated prying into other people's lives, she hated making them believe in another reality but she had no choice. It was either this or die.

However, she found herself drawn to this male. From her study of his memories she realised that she now knew more about him than anyone else in the universe. It stirred certain feelings within her.

Everyday for the next four and a half years she watched over him. Changing his bandages, washing him down, keeping him trim, making sure all the tubes were still connected, this had all become part of her daily routine.

Till she received a message from the council. They had decided to change his scenario; they had become greedy and wanted to learn more about these humans. It was her job to change the scenario, make so that he never even remembered the previous one, his previous life, it involved a complicated five month process of re-writing all his memories and changing the surrounding area.

But it didn't take, the scenario didn't take and both scenarios began to merge and break down. He began to fight against the system, he began to realise that he wasn't in the right place and he began to challenge the system.

Iona didn't stop him. She watched as he fought for consciousness, she was there during his confusion and she was there waiting for him as he opened his eyes for the first time in five years. She was there as he woke up, watching him make history as the only person to ever wake up from a scenario and she smiled.

"Malcolm," she said softly. "You have many questions and I will try and answer them. But be safe in the knowledge I will not harm you and you will know everything in due course."

He merely blinked at her his mouth hanging open.

"I am your Angel,Malcolm Reed," she said.


	8. The Lesser of Three Evils

Malcolm had had some pretty good wake up calls in his lifetime but this one took the proverbial biscuit.

The alien woman stared down at him smiling. He wanted to say something but his mouth was glued shut and he couldn't seem to get rid of the feeling that something had crawled into his mouth and died a long painful death before decomposing on his tongue, rendering it completely useless.

"This must seem strange to you," she said softly.

_Strange? Now what could seem strange about waking up after dying in two different places to be confronted by someone calling herself my 'angel'?_

_No, strange doesn't quite cut it does it? Strange would involve waking up on Enterprise and realising I was still wearing the previous nights socks. Strange does not cover dying twice over and waking up in the middle of La-La-Land._

_Of course, I could be dead. Which is possible. But unfortunately I feel like death warmed up rather than dead._

_But of course I don't know what being dead feels like so I can't really comment._

"Malcolm, look at me," she said tapping his face lightly. "I need you to concentrate."

_Concentrate. Yup, sure, I can manage that. I can fully concentrate on just how ROYALLY SCREWED I am. How's that?_

"My name is Iona," she said. "I've been looking after you for the past five years."

_Five years?_

"I will explain everything to you," she said pushing back his hair from his forehead. "But I need you to concentrate for me, I don't know how much time we have before the Council realises you're awake. This situation is totally unprecedented and I'm not sure how they'll react."

Malcolm stared up at her, very slowly he nodded his head wincing as his neck cracked loudly.

_I've not really got any choice have I?_

"Everything you have known for the past five years has been a lie," she told him. "You have been living a scenario we designed for research purposes. The Council retrieval team found you and…Trip in one of your shuttlepods. You had crash landed on the surface of our world. Trip died on impact, you however, survived the crash. We brought you into our facility for medical treatment."

_What? No, that's not how it happened. I don't know where you got your facts from but Trip didn't die. Trip can't have died…_

Iona took up his hand and squeezed it gently. "You have to believe there was nothing we could do," she said sadly. "They brought you to me and I used our technology to…download your memories. From your memories I created the scenario-The Enterprise Scenario. After treatment we inserted you into the system starting the scenario from the exact point you lost consciousness. From your point of view when you woke up on Enterprise nothing had changed."

She gave him a moment to digest this before continuing. "While you were locked in the Enterprise Scenario, we attempted to find the real Enterprise. We searched for a least a month before the Council discovered the Ship had been lost during an attack. They found no survivors. They eventually decided to keep you locked in the Enterprise Scenario and use your experiences within the scenario for research."

Iona paused and her eyes took on a look of desperation. "I tried to fight their decision; I tried to fight it for you. I wanted to send you back to your planet, I offered to take you myself…but they wouldn't allow it."

_What can I say to that? God, this is all so confusing! I can't think…this isn't real. This can't be real. Enterprise can't have been destroyed!_

_But if Enterprise wasn't destroyed they wouldn't have left me, me or Trip. They would have come for us…_

"The council became greedy, they decided it was time to take you out of the Enterprise Scenario and install you in a new one. They wanted research on family life on Earth. I made the Little Britain scenario and tried to bring the Enterprise scenario to a close. In the Enterprise Scenario you suffered severe injuries and was near death when I switched you over to the Little Britain Scenario. The switch was seamless and you were never supposed to know any change."

Iona suddenly laughed. The laugh seemed hollow and devoid of any emotion.

_This isn't funny, this isn't remotely funny. This just can't be real._

_But what reason would she have to lie?_

_There are plenty of reasons. She's doing it for information._

_That's unlikely. She already knows practically everything. She seems to want to help me._

_Christ! She called herself my bloody angel! She's obviously not playing with a full deck of cards! Does she expect me to believe all this? Does she expect me to believe the past five years of my life have been a lie?_

_I know they've been a lie. I always knew things were too good to be true. I always knew it couldn't be possible. Things just always seemed to work out. The solution would present itself at the last second and I'd save the day. Life just isn't like that. I knew what had happened. I just didn't want to believe it._

_That's right. I was always looking over my shoulder because I knew they were there, I knew they were watching. I just didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. I settled into the Scenario because it was comfortable and familiar. It was what I wanted._

"I made a mistake," said Iona, a look of self loathing on her face. "I assumed you had wanted a career in the Navy, it was involved in so many memories of your childhood that I became convinced it was the career you originally wanted. But I was so pleased with my new scenario, so convinced it would make you happy, that I overlooked your fears. The scenario didn't take because you fought against your fear. I realised then you could have fought the scenario at any time. You're different from anyone we've ever put into a scenario, Malcolm."

_Well let's give me a prize! So I can fight my way out of reality and into insanity. Hurrah for me. Break out the champagne; I fought my way out of life as I know it._

"Don't be angry," she pleaded. "Please don't be angry! We only did this so you wouldn't feel the agony of knowing you were the last surviving member of your crew…I never dreamed you would wake up. Malcolm, I never wanted any of this to happen, you have to believe me."

_Don't be angry! Don't be angry! How does she expect me to react? Oh, the past five years of my life have all been a sham, never mind what's for dinner! Christ! If my mouth was working she'd see the true meaning of the words angry, volatile, pissed off!_

_Calm down. Breathe easy and wait._

_I suppose I can mouth off later when people aren't trying to talk to me. Or I could vent now and feel a hell of a lot better. Hmm so many sodding decisions!_

"Malcolm, we have limited time before the Council discovers you're awake," said Iona seriously. "I have to put you back into a scenario, I can't help you escape. We'd…you'd never get far enough. If the Council finds you're awake they'll take you away from me…put you through invasive medical research. I have to put you back in."

She suddenly leapt to her feet and began pacing the room.

"I could put you in a mercy scenario," she said quickly. "If I did that the Council wouldn't be able to touch you. Then you at least could choose your own scenario, you could choose to either go back to the Enterprise Scenario or the Little Britain Scenario-with a few minor adjustments of course."

_No…no…_

"No!" Malcolm managed finally, his voice hoarse. He sounded like a man of nearly a hundred years than a man just in his early 30's. It hurt so much to speak but he couldn't stand being silent any longer.

"No?" Iona asked moving to his side, anguish etched on her face. "I can't make another scenario in time, I could make adjustments but…"

"NO!" Malcolm repeated, stronger this time. "No scenario…"

Iona suddenly gripped his face and moved till she was practically nose-to-nose with him.

"But they'll kill you," she said harshly. "Don't you understand? You'll die! I can offer you a good life, take it! Take it!"

"No," said Malcolm nearly spitting in her face in his anger. "I said no!"

She pushed away from him furiously. "You fool! You'll die! Don't you understand that? You don't want to die! You proved that when you fought the scenario! How can you just give up now? I can give you a good life! Let me help you!"

"I would rather die in reality than exist in fantasy!" Malcolm exploded before launching into a violent coughing fit.

"But I don't want you to die," she said softly, when the fit had subsided.

_If what she says is true, that Enterprise is gone, that everyone is gone…then I don't want to stay here. I don't have the energy to plan any escape, I barely have the energy to talk. If what she says is true I'd be dead before I could think of something anyway._

_I could live in a scenario, I could have the life of my dreams…but it wouldn't be real. The people wouldn't be real, the situation wouldn't be real._

_I don't want fantasy. I want reality._

_I'd rather die a free man in reality, than die a prisoner of a deranged fantasy._

_At least if I die…I finally know where I belong._

_I can't take the confusion anymore._

"Please," he said quietly. "Let me go."

Iona stared at him for a long time before nodding.

"I'll help you."

She tapped a few buttons on one of the monitors near Malcolm.

"You'll be gone soon," she promised, tears falling down her face. "I'm sorry."

Malcolm felt something flood through his system and sighed in relief. This ordeal would soon be over.

"Thank you…" he whispered.

She turned away from him as his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry Malcolm, I'm so sorry."

Iona quickly turned to one of the monitors and pressed a few buttons


	9. Fallen Wishes

"Angel, what are you doing?"

Iona whipped round to face the speaker, tears running freely down her cheeks and her hand poised on the nearby control panel. It was Iyen, the man who had brought Malcolm to her all those years ago.

"You can't touch him!" she cried defiantly.

"We can do what we want," said Iyen raising his weapon. "I have orders from the council, the human Malcolm Reed, is awake. He must be disposed of."

"You're too late!" said Iona triumphantly. "He's in the Mercy Scenario! Not even the council can touch him now!"

Iyen paused, his weapon hanging loosely in his hand as he looked from Iona to Malcolm. She could see he was trying to detect a lie, luckily for Iona he had no training in the Scenario technology and found no reason not to believe her. After all, Malcolm looked just like the rest of the people in Scenarios. He cursed under his breath.

"Maybe not him," Iyen agreed spitting out his words in anger. He raised his weapon. "But you disobeyed them Angel, they aren't happy."

Iona scrubbed at her face quickly, she stared him straight in the eyes as she hit the last button of the sequence to install Malcolm into the Mercy Scenario. She knew, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to continue on, but the sequence was not complete. She had to choose a scenario before Iyen took her life or Malcolm would hang suspended and no one would be able to give him to the life he wanted.

There was only one option available to her. The Enterprise scenario.

"You betrayed him Angel," said Iyen harshly. "He wanted to die, and instead you trapped him in fantasy. You took his freedom away from him Angel. Now he is victim to your own twisted feelings."

"He didn't want to die!" She yelled suddenly. "He'd spent the scenarios trying to live! He couldn't have wanted to die; it goes against everything we learnt from him, his species values life! Life at all costs!"

"Angel, you know in your heart that you kept him alive because you developed feelings for him," Iyen spat.

Iona paused and glanced at her hand. Doubt crept into her mind.

"If you love him, let him go," said Iyen, raising his weapon. "Either way it's too late for you Angel."

Iona looked from Malcolm to Iyen, her mind in turmoil.

"I've been dead so long I just don't care anymore," she said quietly, drawing herself up to her full height. "I haven't felt like what I was doing mattered since I was first taken into this stupid department. I never wanted this job."

"Angel, you have never mattered," said Iyen pulling back the trigger.

She hit the final control and watched in morbid fascination as a bullet from Iyen's gun smacked into her abdomen. It was her final act of defiance.

"You know what they say though," she mumbled as he moved nearer for the kill shot. "Ignorance is bliss, he'll thank me one day."

She smiled. Malcolm was safe and that was all that mattered to her. Malcolm was safe, he'd returned to the Enterprise scenario and he would never again be able to wake up. He would never know reality again.

**_"Malcolm?"_ **

**_"Iona," he whispered._ **

**_Malcolm forced his eyes open. He felt strangely numb and the grey ceiling blurred before him._ **

**_"Am I dead?" he whispered hoarsely._ **

**__** _Because if this is the bloody 'afterlife' I was expecting more. St Peter, pearly white gates, maybe an Angel or two. Dead family members, trees, flowers, the whole nine yards._

**_"Mal," said a voice. "You've been injured, but I promise, you aren't dead."_ **

**_"Far from it in fact," said another voice. "I expect you to make a full recovery Mr Reed; you'll probably be demanding release in less than three days."_ **

**_Malcolm blinked and the scene suddenly focused sharply. Trip was there, grinning like a fool with Phlox stood behind him beaming._ **

**__** _Oh yeah, I'm back with the shiny happy people!_

_I'm back? Was I ever gone? Strange way to think of it I suppose._

_**Malcolm half smiled in response, his head throbbed painfully and he for a brief moment thought of something. It seemed very important but as he grasped at the memory it slipped away.** _

_**"Who's Iona anyway?" Trip asked amused.** _

_**Malcolm frowned in concentration a moment. "I don't know," he whispered finally. "No one I guess."** _

_**Trip seemed unable to wipe the grin off his face as he looked at Malcolm.** _

_Definitely back with the happy people…there's something I should remember…oh well, if it's important I'll remember it._

_Trip is still smiling. He better stop soon, he has no right to be a little ray of sunshine when I feel like I've been trampled on by a heard of rampaging cows._

**_"What happened?" Malcolm asked tiredly._ **

**_"You decided to get yourself injured again," said Trip. "We've gotta talk about your obsession with sickbay Mal, it just ain't funny anymore!"_ **

****_A sarcastic ray of sunshine…I've never been happier to see anyone in my entire life!_

000

 **_Malcolm stared out the window. He'd settled back into his routine quickly enough after his release from sickbay, but he couldn't shake off an odd melancholic feeling._ **

**_Ever since he'd woken he'd had an eerie feeling of being watched and when he slept he dreamt of conversations he only remember snatches of upon waking. He remembered a girl called Iona, and his plea to die but nothing more._ **

**_He shivered slightly and pushed the wayward thoughts to the back of his mind. It was time to get on with his life again._ **


End file.
